"Healing Your Inner Child"
As we tread our individual pathways in life, we can acquire what some refer to as emotional baggage. Much of it is easy to recognize, but that which was picked up when we were very young is often hidden deep within the subconscious. The inner child or child within can harbor decades of old hurt that can cause us to react to situations and people using childhood pain as a template. This means that sometimes your reactions have less to do with the situation at hand and more to do with things you experienced long ago but have not forgotten. The inner child is an important piece of your emotional makeup. It can be playful, spontaneous, intiuitive, and spiritual -- but it can also be fearful, distrustful, and critical. Painful childhood experiences can negatively affect adult ones. Healing the inner child addresses your child-self's wounds and frees your grown-up self to make decisions based on the present. There are steps you can take to gently begin healing your inner child. Working with this hidden part of you is very much like solving a mystery, and the first step to unlocking it is analyzing your own behavior:
1. Ask yourself why you are attracted to certain people; why you react the way you do in particular situations; and what makes you feel helpless, scared, angry, or lonely. As you do so , remember that there is nothing wrong with your feelings and no shame in being influenced by your inner child.
2. Inquire of yourself how those feelings have been shaped by past experiences. Then mentally revisit your childhood. Visualize yourself as you were when you were young. Feel what your child self is feeling.
3. Finally, approach him or her and offer comfort in the form of a hug infused with positive, loving energy. In doing so, you are both healing and letting go of the wounded childs' pain.
Attempting to discount the fact that the inner child has an effect on the adult denies the impact of old wounds and past experiences Acknowledging this part of you honors your former self and can help you recover painful memories that have been repressed. However, recalling specific ones is not vital to healing. It is enough to be aware that you can change the way you unconsciously learned to react in your youth by nurturing your inner child and, in doing so, foster a loving and wise present self."
By: Madisyn Taylor
Sunday, September 6, 2009
YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, NOT WHAT YOU DO
Becoming Your "Wrong" Decisions
"Our perception of the traits and characteristics that make us who we are is often tightly intertwined with how we live our life. We define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and inactions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result, it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has brought on unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that "wrong" decision. The disappointment and shame we feel when we commit what we perceive to be a mistake grows until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalize until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalize our "poor" choices by labeling ourselves incompetent decision makers. However, our true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence -- what makes you a unique entity -- exists independently of your decision-making process. There are not true right or wrong decisions; all contribute to your development and are an integral part of your evolving existence, yet are still separate from the self. A decision that does not result in its intended outcome is in no way an illustration of character. Still, it can have dire effects on your self-esteem and ability to trust yourself. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a "bad" one was just an experience, and next time you can choose differently. Try to refrain from lingering in the past and mulling over the circumstances that led to your perceived error in judgment. Instead, adapt to the new circumstances you must face by considering how you can use your intelligence, inner strength, and intuition to aid you in moving forward more mindfully. Try not to entirely avoid thinking about the choices you have made, but reflect on their consequences from a rational rather than an emotional standpoint. Strive to understand why you made the decision you did, forgive yourself, and then move forward. A perceived mistake becomes a valuable learning experience and is, in essence, a gift of growth. You are not a bad person, and you are not your decisions; you are simply human."
By: Madisyn Taylor
"Our perception of the traits and characteristics that make us who we are is often tightly intertwined with how we live our life. We define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and inactions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result, it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has brought on unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that "wrong" decision. The disappointment and shame we feel when we commit what we perceive to be a mistake grows until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalize until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalize our "poor" choices by labeling ourselves incompetent decision makers. However, our true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence -- what makes you a unique entity -- exists independently of your decision-making process. There are not true right or wrong decisions; all contribute to your development and are an integral part of your evolving existence, yet are still separate from the self. A decision that does not result in its intended outcome is in no way an illustration of character. Still, it can have dire effects on your self-esteem and ability to trust yourself. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a "bad" one was just an experience, and next time you can choose differently. Try to refrain from lingering in the past and mulling over the circumstances that led to your perceived error in judgment. Instead, adapt to the new circumstances you must face by considering how you can use your intelligence, inner strength, and intuition to aid you in moving forward more mindfully. Try not to entirely avoid thinking about the choices you have made, but reflect on their consequences from a rational rather than an emotional standpoint. Strive to understand why you made the decision you did, forgive yourself, and then move forward. A perceived mistake becomes a valuable learning experience and is, in essence, a gift of growth. You are not a bad person, and you are not your decisions; you are simply human."
By: Madisyn Taylor
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